Ladies – when you “dis” something – you mentally degrade or put it down.  This can hinder you from using your financial resources in retirement to fulfill your unique version of true wealth. In my 23+ years in the personal finance world, I have discovered it is so much more than just the money in your pocket, but your mindsets that move you in a positive, productive direction. Let’s look at three mindsets that hold us back and how to overcome them.

Dealing with Discontent

“If I only had…”.

“I wish I hadn’t….”.

“I don’t understand…”.

What is your discontent message?

As you push through dissing this arena of your finances, look at how money’s purpose in your life is evolving.   Consider these three power moves to get you over the discontentment hurdle.

  1. Create awareness. It is an emotional shift to go from the accumulation phase to distribution phase. Many women have a challenging time with this transition – whether it is how to take Social Security or draw out of your various financial instruments.  It may be in wrestling with the uncertainties that life may toss your way.  You are not alone!  Your awareness of these areas of discontent is big step in overcoming them.
  2. Embrace gratitude. Some people will always have more than you, and others will have less. Take a moment each day in humble gratitude to recognize what you do This will keep FOMO “fear of missing out” at bay.  It will dissolve the power that discontentment can have over you.
  3. Set Preferences and priorities. Stop comparing yourself to others or what the financial services industry or media says your retirement should look like.  Fill your day with intentional choices around using your time, talent and treasure to bring your unique version of prosperity to fruition.  Put your financial tools together to provide the framework to support you to live a life of meaning, purpose, safety and security.

Delving into Discomfort

We have received mixed messages about money throughout our lives.  As you move into your fall season, those beliefs may have become firmly anchored.  Those messages have created mindsets and behaviors that are either serving you — or not.

Misinformation and misunderstandings around money can make communication and practical application static or tense.  Take for example the quote from scripture found in 1 Timothy 6:10.  “The love of money is the root of all evil”.  I have heard people misinterpret the quote as “money is the root of all evil”.  Think of the divergence in the behaviors that would come out of either of these mindsets.

It is not easy to talk about money!  It may be the messages going around in your own head, or the conversations you have with a spouse, friend or family member.  Here are two ideas to conquer this obstacle:

  1. Be Vulnerable – Start with a conversation about a money memory you have with someone you feel safe with.  It is easy to stay on the surface and discuss the market returns or the most recent purchase you have made.  It is more rewarding if we press through the discomfort we have around doing our dollars differently.
  2. Be Honest – Get real with yourself and others.  Live in your financial integrity!  Explore what type of financial personality you have and what opportunities or challenges have you encountered over your life.  What worked for you in the previous seasons of life and how can you build on that?  What hasn’t worked and what do you want to address to make intentional changes?  Look at your financial statement.  What are your assets and liabilities.  When you know what you have, you can do something about it.

Demystify the Distrust

You need to protect yourself from predatory sales people, scammers and unfortunately, sometimes those closest to you.  With what has been learned about behavioral finance, you also need to protect yourself from yourself. You don’t want to do this money thing on your own, but who do you trust?

  1. Put your team together. Establish your trusted network of advisors who uphold and adhere to a code of conduct in your best interest. This network would include but not limited to a Financial Advisor, estate attorney, CPA, bookkeeper, health provider, elder care advocate and family members.  It is up to you to discern who fits your needs and let your intentions and wishes be known.
  2. Stay engaged. Bring family members or friends into your financial discussions sooner than later.  Establish periodic meeting times to ensure your best interests, needs and desires are understood and upheld.

Ladies, you have the ability to capture these “dissing” moments every time they pop into your head.  Take thoughts captive.  Replace discontent, discomfort and distrust with intentional, pro-active mindsets and behaviors that will move you in the direction of using the financial resources you have to live your version of bliss.